Who Am I

I feel a slight pain in my brain
And it’s given me a migraine
I just can’t maintain hard for me to contain
All these thoughts about who I am are just driving me insane

But here’s the thing the sky seems red as ever
The oceans seem green I’m depressed so I’m feeling better
My mind distorted those things don’t seem to go together
Like giving to the rich by taking from the lesser

Alone in my head with no place to hide
Darkness is taking over and over whelming my soul
Memories of lonely nights kill my self esteem
And people wonder why I’m bitter and so mean

Alone in my head I have lost my mind
And I feel death crawling up my spine
Tears are steady rolling down my eyes
But you know what I still act like I’m happy and fine

Do I get points for seeming the most normal? hope so!
The real me is hidden deep inside that’s a place that I don’t show
I don’t know how I can go on breathing
Who knows I probably wouldn’t if my life wasn’t rooted in what I believed in

It didn’t always used to be I remember not so long ago
I was actually skimming my notebooks reading a song I wrote
The words jumped off the page I was instantly amazed
Of the depression I was going through but didn’t realize that I faced

Songs about getting drunk party up party up
I can barely feel my face but hey I don’t give a……

I drank too much I would probably suffer with that same problem still
I used to fight myself not to have another bottle or pop sleeping pills
Alcohol made me feel calmer but the thing is that
Being drunk never lasted but depression always came back

But no I couldn’t admit I was depressed that would make me look weak not strong
And I’m a man so of course I couldn’t admit when something was wrong
And people couldn’t know my struggles so I pushed others away if they got to close
And the ones closest to me are the ones that got hurt the most

Same old Bryan same old Bryan but that was back then right
Of fighting depression and crying myself to sleep at night
Of having suicidal thoughts and wanting to end my life that was way back then right
Wrong but do you all want to know how I’m winning this fight

You think I turned myself into myself no I couldn’t change who I was
How I thought how I behave all my abnormal ways
I was crazy my psyche isn’t the same as other people
Not equal my weak mind always seemed to be feeble

And Gullible people can be lethal through the eye of a needle
Some Sinners try to fit by being such hedonistic people
My beliefs is my life I can do nothing without the Son
The Son (sun) shined down on me and brought life into these empty lungs

Brought Light into the life of mine I escaped from a life of crime
Who am I without a savior NOTHING, but Jesus is so great and divine
I’m a sinner now and still until the day I pass away
Whether my ashes sway or where ever my body lay

I’m a slave I’m a sheep following the great Shepard
Who changed my life for the better the chains of sin was severed
The alpha and the omega has embraced this little broken lamb
The alpha and the omega has changed who I am